Unlikely Romance
by Boondock Winchester
Summary: Goku hates Gojyo’s nocturnal activities. Gojyo can’t get Goku out of his mind. When the air gets tense just from them being in the same room Hakkai and Sanzo have to step in but will they ever admit their love for each other? GokuxGojyo lemon language
1. Pleasure Filled Sorrow

Alright, guys. Here I go. This is a Saiyuki story with a male on male romance: Goku x Gojyo. If you do not like yaoi, shonen-ai, or hantai in any form, you should hit the back button located at the top left of your screen. I'll give you a moment...done? Only yaoi and shonen-ai fans left? Good. Now, just as security, I do not own Saiyuki but I do own this story and everything thing that happens in it. As mentioned in the summery, this story will contain a lemon later and has fowl language (I did not make up any unspeakable swear words so there is noting worse than any thing you've ever heard before...unless you've been under a rock you whole life; then we have a problem...no, only you do). So, this will be a bit angst as thins start to heat up, there will be verbal arguments, maybe a one or two punches thrown, I don't kow yet, there will be misunderstandings and there will be love. Oh, yes. There will be love. So, that is my comment for the day...or few days...or week...depening on when I can update next wich really shouldn't be any longer than a week. Not even. Hopefully. Anyway, bye-bye for now!! See you next chapter!!! And thanks for reading!!!!!!!!!!

Pleasure-Filled Sorrow

Goku walked into the room as Hakkai and Sanzo looked up, his head hung low and his usual smile upside-down in an uncharacteristic frown. His steps were soundless as he made his way across the threshold.

Hakkai smiled to his younger brother. "You're back. How was the walk?"

Goku didn't respond past an audible sigh.

"Are you hungry? I could fix you something to eat. What would you like?"

Goku sat on his bed and proceeded to remove his cape and fighting gear.

Hakkai watched their sullen brother finish removing his garments before tucking himself under the covers, his back facing the both of them.

Hakkai shared a glace with Sanzo. "Is everything alright? The ki user asked.

"I'm fine," Goku whispered as he didn't move an inch.

Sanzo's eyes narrowed. "Where is Gojyo?"

Goku's body stiffened at the mention of the other man's name. Hakkai closed his eyes in pain for the boy as Sanzo's hands clenched into tight fists.

"I don't know," the monkey hissed from his position. "He can rot in hell for all I care."

The two men shared another glance, this time knowing full well the reason behind the young one's bitterness. They were going to have a nice little talk to the damn kappa when he got back if this kept up and it wasn't going to be pretty if Sanzo had anything to say about it.

Gojyo lie on the foreign bed, the sheets randomly thrown over his body covering little. He stared hard at the ceiling above him as a lone cigarette dangled from his lips. In the other room, the shower was running as the attractive red head Gojyo had 'escorted' that night was washing herself.

"Damn," he sighed as he roughly rubbed his eyes. "What the hell? Since when can I not be satisfied?"

Yes, Gojyo had slept with the young woman mentioned earlier. It wasn't anything unusual. He oft went out and found someone willing to give him a one night stand. However, recently, he hadn't been able to reach the satisfaction he craved. Sure he moaned as pleasure overtook his body and his member throbbed as he came into the women's bodies but it was always…empty. His body—no, his soul—demanded more. Well, maybe not more, just something else. Or someone else.

Throwing his arm over his eyes he couldn't stop the image of his specific someone that never left his mind no matter how many others he tried to lose himself in. Every time he slept with the prostitutes he found on the streets or in the bars, he couldn't help but picture that it was his someone he was making love to. It had become the only way he could find the release he had been yearning for for several days. As much as he had tried to deny it in days gone past, he came to realize that he, Sha Gojyo, the ultimate womanizer, had fallen fast and hard for the most unlikely person.

"Well there goes my reputation."

The next morning, Goku, Hakkai, and Sanzo were dressed, packed and waiting Gojyo's return.

"What's taking him so long? I swear, if he makes us wait until noon again, I'll blow his brains out," Sanzo said in irritation.

Hakkai saw Goku's face drop just a little as he thought of what could be keeping the taboo. He tried to get his mind off of that subject as he asked, "Goku, why don't you go downstairs and check out for us. We'll be down in a bit after we do a final check of the room."

The boy nodded as he left the room. And Hakkai sighed. "You know we're going to have to do something about this."

"Hn."

Hakkai turned to the monk. "Sanzo, we can't leave it like this. You see how it's tearing Goku apart inside. I hate to see him like that. It doesn't suit him."

"Do what you like. I don't want any part in it."

"Like you weren't affected at all last night when he came in looking so pathetic and forlorn."

Sanzo knew there was no getting out of this but he wasn't going to let Hakkai know he knew that. In truth, he had grown quite fond of the stupid monkey and, in all honesty, he had felt a certain rage the previous night seeing his protégé in such pain over that bastard kappa. He wasn't worth it. Goku deserved so much more than that fucking ass-hole pervert could ever offer him. But Goku wanted it and, as much as he wanted to, he couldn't change the way Goku felt.

"Whatever. Just don't make it entirely my problem. If the monkey wants to suffer by liking that piece of shit, that's his prerogative. It's none of my damn business anyway."

Hakkai smiled as he heard the hiss in the monk's voice as he mentioned Gojyo and the slightly softer tone he took as he spoke of Goku. It was almost sweet if one took out the profanity, the murderous glare, and the violent flicking of his cigarette as the ashes fell.

Gojyo walked down the street back to the hotel where the others were staying and sighed deeply. He knew that going back up would mean seeing that brat monkey…his specific someone who keeps invading his thoughts. He scratched his head as he came upon the front door and walked in. To see Goku up at the front desk paying the man in uniform.

He couldn't help but stare at the beautiful form in his usual gold cape, complicated battle gear, and the tight fitting jeans that made him jealous. He wanted to be pressing tight against his tightly formed ass and his loins…

He shook his head trying to get the thoughts out of his mind before he became…unpresentable.

Clearing his throat and putting on his usual rakish smile, he walked up to the boy.

Goku gave the man behind the counter the gold card. Just as he was given it back and was just about to walk back up stairs, he felt a weight on his shoulder.

"Hey there, short stack. What's going on?"

Goku froze at the voice. A voice he always heard in the back of his mind. He turned to see Gojyo leaning his arm on his shoulder and looking as dashing as ever. Not wanting him to know of how he felt or what he thinks of his nocturnal ways, he put on his usual act of complete innocence and temperamentalness.

"I'm not short, cockroach. It's about time you showed up. Sanzo's going to bite your head off once he sees you. He's wanted to go for three hours now."

"Ah, he's just jealous. He probably hasn't gotten laid in years."

Goku felt a jolt in his chest as he paused for a millisecond on his way up the stairs. He hoped it wasn't enough for Gojyo to notice. If he did, he didn't say as such.

"So how was your night?"Gojyo asked.

Miserable. "Fine. Kind of uneventful."

"Well with those two party crashers, I can see why."

As they walked into the room, Sanzo shot Gojyo a glare. "Where the hell have you been, jackass!"

Gojyo smirked. "I was rocken' a beautiful lady's world," he said as he skillfully raked a hand through his hair.

Goku turned to look at the other wall, trying to hide his eyes.

Hakkai saw this and decided to say something. "Well, now that we're all here, I suppose we should be on our way. Hakuryu has been waiting."

"Yeah, yeah I know. Alright, fellas! Let's get on the road," Gojyo said.

He left followed by a grumbling Sanzo. Hakkai was right behind them before he realized Goku hadn't moved an inch.

"Goku?"

The called boy jumped and turned. "Oh, sorry. I guess I spaced."

Hakkai walked over and placed a gentle hand on his shoulder. "Goku, you know that if you ever need to talk, I'm always willing to listen."

Goku looked up at the man he now considered his brother. "What are you talking about? I'm fine."

Hakkai wanted to say more, mention the tension from last night and how he guessed the boy felt toward Gojyo but he thought the better of it. He knew that when he needed it, Goku would come to him for guidance or just a shoulder to lean on. He always did in the past.

"Alright then. Just keep it in mind."

"Uh, okay. Thanks."

And with that, they were on their way.


	2. Gojyo's Reasoning

Hey, guys. Sorry I took so long with this. College is kicking my butt more than I expected but I'm back on track now so yeah. Here's the next chapter. I hope you like it.  
I would also like to put out a special thanks to **39.Falling.Grace**. Thanks for the review. You're awsome!!  
Also, I'm trying different designs for the story on how to separate scenes and stuff. If you have any suggestions, please, I'd love to hear them.

* * *

Gojyo's Reasoning

It had been five weeks and Hakkai noticed that Goku's happy moods were decreasing rapidly. He knew it had something to do with Gojyo but he couldn't help but wonder why, all of a sudden, he was starting to go downhill so fast. It bothered him and he knew it bothered Sanzo to an extent though he would never admit it, probably even to himself. But whatever the case, something was causing their little Goku pain and he needed to find out why. "Gojyo, do you think you could help me for a moment?"

Gojyo looked up from his card shuffling to look at the healer. "Sure. What do you need?"

"Just something outside. It shouldn't take too long."

Gojyo put down the cards and walked with Hakkai down the road.

"You going to tell me where we're going?"

Hakkai smiled. "Nope. Because we're here."

Gojyo blinked before he looked up at the building. A bar? In the middle of the afternoon? This wasn't much like his friend but before he could ask about it, he just barely caught a glimpse of Hakkai's back as he walked into the tavern. He narrowed his eyes skeptically but nonetheless followed, taking his seat next to Hakkai.

They ordered their drinks and sat silently for several minutes before Gojyo couldn't stand it anymore. "What exactly are you up to?"

Hakkai looked up innocently. "What do you mean?"

Gojyo growled. "You know what I mean. You ask me for a favor and end up taking to a bar in the middle of the day when you don't even like to have a drink before five in the evening unless the occasion calls for it, and then you don't even say a word the whole time we're here?"

Hakkai chuckled. "That does sound a bit suspicious, doesn't it?"

"Damn right, it does. So, you going to spill or what?"

Hakkai was silent for a bit longer, his eyes staring straightforward, his smile never wavering, before he said bluntly, "I want to ask you something."

"Then ask already! I'm getting tired of this beating around the bush crap."

"It's about Goku."

Gojyo felt a pulse run through his body at the mention of the boy's name. This didn't pass Hakkai's observant eyes but Gojyo regained his senses quickly and smiled arrogantly. "What about the monkey?"

"Has he been acting strange at all do you think?"

"Tch. Why are you asking me? I'm not his nanny. It's not my responsibility to watch him every second of the day. How the hell should I know?"

"I see. So you haven't noticed anything at all then?"

Gojyo was starting to get very apprehensive now about his friend's questions. Why was he pushing this so much? "I said I'm not his nanny. I'm the last person who should know. Sanzo would probably know more about it. That brat practically hangs off that bastard's arm all day long. Go ask him."

"I already have. He said he did notice a little something."

"Well, there you go. Question answered," Gojyo said as he downed the rest of his drink.

"It is true the question is answered but that does not solve the problem the answer brings."

Gojyo slammed his glass down on the counter. "And just what the hell do you expect me to do about it? If Goku has a problem, that's his problem! It has nothing to do with me so stop asking."

Hakkai, smile still holding strong, spun his glass slowly as he watched the ice and liquid inside create a vortex within the small space. "Are you certain that what you just spoke is completely accurate?"

Gojyo stood and stuffed his fists into his pockets. "I'm going for a walk."

Hakkai was now left alone as his smile widened by just a little. "Just as I suspected. You get so defensive whenever someone gets close to the truth about something you try so hard to hide." Hakkai took a long sip of his drink, letting the liquor burn his throat and the taste shock his tongue. As he put the empty glass back on the counter, he chuckled. "But then again, I suppose that's just the human in you making itself known."

He lifted his hand as a gesture for another drink.

* * *

Gojyo walked down the street, barely noticing anyone that passed him or he collided with without so much as looking at them as they grumbled in annoyance. 

What was Hakkai trying to do? Why was he pestering him about Goku? Of all people?

Gojyo sighed. Oh who the hell was he trying to fool? He knew he had lied to Hakkai when he had said he was one of the last people to ask about Goku's new disposition.

Slipping into a dark alley that most people tended to avoid, he sauntered down a ways before he stopped and slumped against one of the old brick walls. He brought his hand up and covered his face in anguish as he felt the pain returning.

"Shit. Why the hell does it have to be him?"

He had noticed. He had noticed the second it had started a few months previous. Goku was always so happy and chipper and willing to have an all out yelling contest whenever they got bored in the back seat of Jeep or at dinner. But recently, he would sit still whenever none of them were around and when he thought that there wasn't a sole in perimeter of him, he wouldn't even smile. But where he noticed the change the most was when they were bickering. Usually, Goku's eyes would sparkle with mischief and amusement and just a bit of playful irritation. However, for the past few months, that sparkle had been diminishing. Now, it was almost nonexistent. If he looked hard enough he could see it behind the clouds Goku now possessed in his brilliant golden eyes but Gojyo was lucky if he even got that much.

He wanted so badly to go up the boy, pull him close, and tell him that everything was going to be okay. That he was there for him and that he was willing to do anything to bring back that smile that fit Goku so well.

Gojyo slowly slid to the ground, his arms wrapped around his body and his hair forming a crimson curtain separating him from the world.

He loved Goku. He had admitted it to himself a while ago but even after all this time, it still amazed him. He had always pictured himself loving some beautiful woman but now that he thought about his future in that light, he couldn't help the sadness that crept into his chest.

He didn't understand it. At first, he thought he was just developing a stronger kinship with Goku but the sensations he felt became intense and more frequent. He had tried to deny it but in the end, he knew there was no point. He loved Goku in every way a man can love. There was one reason that stuck out the most to him, however. Some people, such as Hakkai and Sanzo, had learned to accept him for who he was. But Goku accepted him for _what_ he was. Goku, being the heretic that he was, was the only one that could fully understand what it meant to be an outcast, damned by the gods. That was the kind of acceptance he had yearned for his whole life. He felt so grateful.

It was then he realized this that he decided he wanted Goku, every part of him. He wanted to be Goku's everything. He wanted to be the one who was at his side. The one who could laugh with him, cry with him. _Be_ with him. But he couldn't possibly.

"Screw this!" he hissed as he stood, his anger building.

He could never be that for Goku. His only role in Goku's life was the older brother. That's all. Nothing more, nothing less. And he had come to accept that role and embrace it. However, it tore him up inside whenever Goku was sad and not at all himself, as he was now, because it was at times like these, the older brother couldn't do anything to aid him. That was the Mother Hen's job and the Master's responsibility. He couldn't do a single thing except sit idly by and hope for the best.

Gojyo's fist tightened as he thought of Goku's _master_.

Genjo Sanzo.

"That…bastard…"

Goku always pined all over him like he was a god. Goku was always so worried about Sanzo. Whenever that stupid monk was hurt, he would panic and would do anything in his power to get him better. Whenever he had a problem, the only person he would let into his hurting heart was Sanzo. In fact, that was probably what he was doing this second: spilling his guts to that pervert priest who didn't even give a damn about Goku!

Gojyo's fist collided into the brick, hoping to relieve some of his anger but it helped little.

Why was it that Sanzo got so much more attention from Goku without even trying, yet Gojyo, who cared for him deeply, would have to try so hard just to get himself noticed?

He knew there was no hope for him. Not when Goku had Sanzo.

There was no hope.

* * *

They were again on the road the next day; however, the atmosphere was much quieter than normal. Hakkai peered into his rearview mirror at Gojyo and Goku. They were facing away from each other at the moment looking out at the scenery, or lack thereof, seemingly calculating. Hoping to stir something between the two, so things could at least seem back to normal, he said, "Well, you two sure are quiet. Is there something going on back there I shouldn't know about?" 

Gojyo and Goku both started at that as they tried to hold down their blushes.

"W-what?!" Goku said. "No way! Who the hell would want to with him?!"

Gojyo got in Goku's face. "Oh, like you're so much better!"

"Hell yeah, I am!"

"As if, saru!"

"Ero kappa!"

"Jerk off!"

"Ass-hole!"

_There_.

Gojyo was about to spurt out another insult when he saw the clouds completely consume Goku's eyes again concealing whatever it was that he was trying so hard to hide. Not able to see that in the younger, he grunted and turned back to the direction he was looking before.

"No matter what you say, we all know I'm better so you might as well not even try, baka."

Goku didn't miss the skipped insult before Gojyo turned back around. Taking it as just another tactic in pushing him away, Goku also presumed his previous position. "Whatever, bastard."

Hakkai sighed. Things were just getting worse. If this kept up, they probably won't ever so much as utter a single word to each other.

He looked over to Sanzo who also seemed to have noticed but didn't say anything.

Within the next few hours, they came to another town and Sanzo paid for more rooms. However, there seemed to have been only two left.

Sanzo lit a cigarette before he announced, "Hakkai, let's go. You're rooming with me."

Goku stiffened as his chest compressed. "Sanzo, wait."

The priest stopped but didn't look at his charge.

"Can I…I mean, I want to room with you."

"I already see your face enough and I don't want to have to hear your damn stomach all night. My decision stands."

Goku's face dropped just enough to show that he was not exactly happy about this predicament.

Hakkai looked from the boy to Gojyo who was now staring hard at the retreating monk's back as though cursing him deeply in his mind.

"Ch. See if I care. I'm not even staying here tonight," Gojyo said as he turned and walked back out the front doors.


	3. Goku's Pain

This is a little fast for me but I seem to have had a little bit of extra time on my hands...okay, so maybe it wasn't extra but writing this is way better than studying.  
Again, another thanks to **39.Falling.Grace** for your support. ;-D

Goku sat on his bed in one of the rooms Sanzo had rented out and stared hard at the floor in front of him. He hadn't moved from that position in hours. His legs were getting stiff, his butt was numb, and his back was starting to ach. But he didn't notice too much as he pictured a certain red haired taboo in his mind.

Closing his eyes he sighed. What he wouldn't give to have Gojyo there now sitting next to him with that smile that always made his insides heat.

Goku didn't understand. Why was Gojyo pushing him away so much? It was like he hated being with him. Why?

Goku slowly fell onto the bed as he lay on his side, pulling his knees in to his chest. Every time he thought about it, something in the vicinity of his heart would ach but recently, that pain had started to grow tremendously.

Goku started to notice it after the fifth time Sanzo had demanded that he would room with Hakkai, because he didn't want to so much as look at Gojyo or Goku's faces. Gojyo had left to find some 'feminine company' leaving Goku alone. However, for the next three nights Sanzo was able to get them all their own rooms, or Gojyo would stay with Hakkai or Sanzo. Not once did Gojyo go out womanizing.

Goku couldn't understand why Gojyo hated him so much. He was usually nice when all four of them were together and when they weren't fighting. But at night, even if all of them were sharing the same room, Gojyo would leave.

Goku pulled himself tighter into the ball trying so hard not to let his tears fall.

He cared for Gojyo so much. He might even love him.

Goku had always thought himself in love with Sanzo. Sanzo was his savior and his light in the darkness that he had been encompassed in for 500 years. But Sanzo was always so cold to him and never seemed to really care, even though Goku knew it was just hard for him to express. Then he started to think that he might like Hakkai but that soon disappeared. He loved Hakkai but he could never think of him as more than a motherly/brotherly figure. When it came to Gojyo, he couldn't quite figure out how he felt. He didn't like the kappa, but he didn't hate him either. Gojyo was always teasing and berating him just to get a rise from the poor monkey. But at the same time, Goku could almost sense that all of the insults weren't completely meant in cruelty; that there was just a hint of playfulness behind each word.

But the one thing that stood out the most to Goku was that Gojyo was real.

Hakkai was wonderful and always looked out for Goku like true family. But he couldn't help but notice that the kind façade he always put on was so unbearably fake. Goku could see it every time Hakkai smiled, it seemed as though he died a little more inside. Like he didn't want to be happy without that woman he talks about some times. Hakkai is as calm as he is because he knows what effect his anger can bring. He's scared that it will happen again so he hides it.

Sanzo was just a sadistic bastard because of what happened to his master when he was a kid. Goku didn't know anything beyond what Hakkai had told him, which was almost nothing, but he knew that it had done something to Sanzo. It had hurt him deep down where he doesn't let anyone touch anymore, except for Goku on rare occasions. He acts so pissed off all the time but Goku knew that he was just sad and felt so utterly guilty over what happened. His anger was the only way he knew how to deal with those feelings of self-loathing.

Goku cringed as he thought of his own flaws.

He always was so chipper and childlike but he only acted that way because he thought that if he acted any other way, the others wouldn't like him anymore and they would leave him alone. Like when he was in the cave. He couldn't bear living that kind of existence again. It would kill him in a heartbeat.

But Gojyo…

He might have been scarred by his loveless childhood, both mentally and physically, but he didn't let it get in the way of anything he did. He didn't hide it. If someone asked about it, in good nature, he told them flat out. Gojyo is the way he is because of what he is and not because of a traumatic event that happened in his life that changed him. He was true to himself even if he said otherwise. He was the most trustworthy of any of the Sanzo-party.

And Goku admired that above all else about the taboo.

Grabbing a pillow from above his head, the boy tried to muffle the sob that escaped his throat.

"Why can't he accept me? Why is he pushing me away? What did I do wrong?"

Goku quietly let the sound of his ragged breathing and his silent tears lull him to sleep.

* * *

The next morning, Hakkai got dressed slowly because he had a lot on his mind. He hadn't been able to get much sleep the night before seeing as he couldn't get Gojyo and Goku's dilemma out of his head. Fortunately, though it had been far from easy, he had been able to talk Sanzo into letting them all stay for at least one more night so he could work on them a little more. 

Seeing that Sanzo had already left to tell the owner that he had to extend their stay, Hakkai left to check on Goku.

As he knocked on the door opposite the hall, he said softly, "Goku, it's me." He didn't get an answer. He knocked again with the same response.

"I'm coming in Goku." He opened the door and saw the boy lying on top of the sheets of his bed, his head stuffed into a pillow, and all of his clothes on. He walked over and sat on the side of the bed before he softly shook Goku. "Time to get up."

Goku moaned as he slowly woke turning to see Hakkai's bright smile. "Hakkai?"

The healer's smile wavered ever so slightly as he saw the dried tear tracks on Goku's face and the pink around his eyes. "It's morning."

Goku rubbed his eyes and plastered on his usual chipper smile. "Okay. I'm up," he said with a yawn.

Hakkai nodded and stood to leave. It was then that Goku remembered why his eyes hurt.

"Hakkai."

The called man stopped and turned. "Yes?"

Goku was sitting on the edge of the bed staring at the floor forlornly. "If I've done something offensive…something wrong…"

Hakkai blinked in surprise.

"…you would tell me, right?"

The man smiled sadly as he returned to the bed and sat next to the boy. "If it isn't too bold to say, this is about Gojyo, right?"

Goku jerked his head to look up at Hakkai in shock. "What?! How did you know?!"

"Oh, I had a feeling."

Goku hesitantly looked back to the floor. "Did I do something to make him mad at me?"

"To be completely honest, I don't know. If you did, I wasn't around to see it. But I don't think that is the problem."

Goku's shoulders slumped further as his hands tightened. "What else could it be? What other reason would he have to hate me?"

"Gojyo doesn't hate you."

"Yes he does! You've seen him! He won't even fight with me like we used to! He doesn't even want to stay in the same room as me," he finished in a pathetically sad voice.

Hakkai took Goku's shoulders in his hands in a comforting gesture. "He doesn't hate you, Goku. He's just…misinformed, I think."

"Misinformed? What's that?"

"I think he is interpreting some things the wrong way. That's all."

Goku thought about that. If he was just misinformed, then maybe…maybe he wasn't pushing him away? Could it be that…

He shook his head. He didn't want to get his hopes up so easily. He knew how hard reality could pack a punch.

He then felt the bed raise as Hakkai stood to face the boy. "Goku, listen. I know this is going to be hard for you to understand but some people are afraid to take chances just because they don't know what will happen and are afraid that it won't work out in their own favor. Those people are cowards and will forever live a life of solitude and misery as they watch everyone else live happy, fulfilling lives."

Goku couldn't understand why Hakkai had told him that.

Just as he was at the door, Hakkai didn't turn as he said his final line.

"Don't be like those people, Goku. You disserve to be happy." And with that, he left. However, just outside the door, Sanzo was standing on the other side of the hall just outside of his own door.

Hakkai nodded once to the priest before walking past him and into the room to finish cleaning up some of his clothes.

Sanzo looked at Goku's door with a ferocity like fire as his fists clenched. He turned and headed for the stairs to the lobby.

* * *

Goku sat dumbfounded. Don't be like those people? Those _cowards_? Was Hakkai calling him a coward? No, Hakkai would never say something like that. So what did he mean? Sighing, Goku fell back on the bed and stared up at the ceiling thinking through that analogy hoping to find a solution.

* * *

Gojyo was walking back to the hotel, cursing himself the whole way. God, why did he have to be such a coward? Every time he was returning back to his friends, he felt the weight of the guilt of his nocturnal behavior fall heavily on his shoulders. He always hated himself afterwards and yet he still went out just so that he didn't have to torture himself—or his groin—by looking at Goku all night long. 

Putting it all in the back of his mind, he walked through the front doors of the hotel, toward the staircase that lead to the rooms…

And right into a propelled fist.


	4. A Moment Alone

WOW!! I can't believe I'm writing this fast! I wrote all of this today! This is awesome! If this keeps up, I'll have the next chapter up in no time! I'm so excited! And the next chapter will be nice. (_rubs hands together with a sly grin)_ Oh yes. Very nice. As usual, **39.Falling.Grace** is amazing. Thank you!!!  
Enjoy!!

* * *

Gojyo hit the floor, his reddening cheek stinging something fierce. He looked up at the bastard that had hit him to see a very angry monk. 

"What the hell, Sanzo?!" Gojyo asked as he stood returning the glare.

Sanzo scoffed. "The fact that you don't have a clue is proof enough that you disserve another."

The people around that had frozen to watch the commotion slowly started back on their way, not wanting to get mixed up in whatever the weird travelers were arguing about.

Gojyo grabbed Sanzo by his collar and got in his face. "What is that supposed to mean?!"

"You really are clueless, aren't you?" Sanzo asked in irritation. "God, you're such an idiot. I don't even know what the hell he sees in you."

"You know, I'm getting real sick of your riddles!" Gojyo growled.

Sanzo grabbed Gojyo's wrist and squeezed. Though it didn't faze him much, it was still enough to make the hand release his robes. "And I'm getting sick of your ignorance. Maybe if you opened your eyes once in a damn while, you might actually see something past your own miserable ass." At that, Sanzo pinched Gojyo's newly colored cheek and pulled, not all too nicely either.

"OW-OW-OW!" Gojyo yelped. After Sanzo released his flesh, the redhead cupped his, now _very_ painful, face and glared at the man's retreating back as he left the inn. "Damn it! Jack-ass!"

"Um, excuse me, sir."

Gojyo looked to see a young girl cowardly trying to get his attention. "What?" he asked coldly.

"Um, well, do you think you might be able to…not yell? The customers are complaining and…"

"Whatever." Gojyo left the girl standing in the middle of the lobby as he stomped his way up the stairs to his 'assigned' room and opened the door.

"Gojyo!"  
The called man looked up at the yell to see Goku standing from his previous activity of playing with Hakuryu and now looking worriedly at the new inhibiter. "What happened to your face?!"

Gojyo turned his head to the side, concealing his injured cheek. "Nothing. I got plastered last night and I ran into a door."

Gojyo hadn't noticed how close Goku had gotten until he felt the boy's hand on his face, trying to turn it the other way so he could see the damage.

"Ouch. It looks like it hurt."

Gojyo couldn't help but stare at Goku's magnificent golden eyes. No matter how many times he saw them, they always managed to make the airflow from his mouth to his lungs stop completely. He wanted nothing more than those eyes squarely on him and the boy's arms around him for the rest of his life. But he knew that was a dream that had no chance of coming true.

Inspecting the swollen skin thoroughly, Goku noticed something. "This doesn't look like something you could get from a door. It's shaped like a fist. And it's fresh." Looking Gojyo in the eyes, he asked, "Gojyo, what happened? Tell me the truth."

The man was almost surprised at the sheer concern in Goku's eyes. Like he was truly concerned for him. But then he remembered that this was _Goku_. He was this concerned over everyone, even complete strangers. Closing his eyes, he turned his head out of Goku's hand. "Tch. Fine. Something had gotten His Holiness' robes in a knot and he decided to take it out on me, the bastard."

"Sanzo did this?!" Goku screeched. "Why? What did you do?"

"Hey! I didn't do shit! I was just walking in and he punched me out of the blue! I didn't even see him until my ass was on the ground!"

Goku was taken aback at his outburst. "I was just asking! Sorry for caring! Geeze!" He glared and stomped to the other side of the room before he started to rummage in his pack. When he pulled out a white tube, he turned back to Gojyo with a temperamental look on his face. He pointed to the bed. "Sit."

"What am I? Your dog?"

"Sit!"

Gojyo glared at Goku for several seconds before he finally did as commanded.

Goku pulled out the unknown tube and started to remove the top. Gojyo was starting to wonder just what the hell it was.

As if reading Gojyo's mind, Goku said, "Hakkai gave it to me a few weeks ago when I pulled by shoulder muscle. It helps with sore muscles."

Gojyo suddenly felt guilty for yelling at Goku now that he was caring for him. Wanting to get off that thought, he said, "Do you even have time? Sanzo's just going to get more pissed if we don't leave soon."

Just before Goku was about to apply the cream, he blinked. "What? Oh, I guess Sanzo didn't tell you. We're staying for one more night. I don't know why, though."

One more night? What for? It wasn't like Sanzo to want to stay in a town for too long. But his thought process soon stopped as he felt the cream on his cheek. "Hey! It's cold!"

"Just deal with it, kappa."

Gojyo was about to come back with another pissed off retort until Goku started to massage his cheek. It was a bit painful but the feeling of Goku's fingers on his skin was enough to send shocks of pleasure all through his head. He closed his eyes and melted into the feeling. After a while, he was so immersed in the sensation that he almost let out a moan before he caught himself. However, he was so busy trying to remain silent that he wasn't paying any attention to his hand.

Goku smiled just a little as he saw Gojyo close his eyes. He had never seen the taboo so openly vulnerable. It was nice to be able to see it for once. He looked so at peace. Then he felt a hand on his waist. He blinked when he realized it was Gojyo's. But it wasn't just resting there. It was softly pulling him toward Gojyo!

Goku blushed as his hand stopped its movement. "Uh…Gojyo, what…"

The redhead slowly opened his eyes as he felt Goku's hand stop and he looked up with haze-filled eyes. Goku seemed a little bit closer than he had been a moment ago and his face was red but Gojyo couldn't figure out why. He looked a little flustered, too. "What's wrong?"

Goku blinked again as his blush deepened. "Nothing _really_, but…well…" He looked down.

Gojyo followed his line of sight and saw a hand resting on the boy's waist. That hand, he realized after a moment or two, was attached to _his_ arm.

Shocked out of his daze, Gojyo pulled back his hand and stared wide-eyed at Goku who was looking at the ground.

_Oh God! Oh God! Oh God! What did I do?!_ Gojyo kept repeating in his head.

Goku couldn't bring himself to look into Gojyo's face. His own face was as red as a cherry, he could feel it. He couldn't believe the intimate contact he had just experienced. Why had Gojyo done that? Had he meant to?

Gojyo, still panicking, stood from the bed. "Uh…thanks for the…you know…the…the…"

"Massage?" Goku supplied for him in a small voice.

"Yeah, that." _Shit! What now?!_ "So, uh, I guess I'll go now." And he did, very quickly.

Goku watched him leave and sighed sadly as Hakuryu flew up from his position in the corner to land on his shoulder, rubbing his cheek in an offer of comfort. "Sure."

* * *

"What the hell was that?! I can't believe that just happened! Why didn't I notice it?!" 

How was he supposed to see Goku now with a straight face? There was no way in hell he was ever going to live this down, especially if Goku told Hakkai, or worse: Sanzo!

He could just see the monk in a rage calling for Gojyo's head on a stick as secretly protective as Sanzo was of the damn monkey!

He felt a shiver go up his spine as he remembered Goku's fingers on his face, how warm they were and just slightly calloused from years of fighting. It had been like ecstasy for just those few moments. He would remember that feeling since he was probably never going to feel that way ever again. That thought alone was enough to bring him to his knees.


	5. A Decided Action

Okay, sorry guys but I wasn't able to put the 'nice' scene in this chapter but I can promise you this: _it will be in the next chapter_. I actually already have some of it written so I will get it out as soon as I can. Here's a shout out to my girl **39.Fallin.Grace**! Loves and Hugs! Enjoy!!

* * *

Goku sat on the bed in Sanzo's room impatiently. He had been there for the past hour awaiting the monk's return. The look on his face was not happy as he crossed his arms over his chest. He was angry over the blow he had dealt Gojyo for apparently no reason that morning. He was going to ask Sanzo about it directly once he returned.

The door to the room opened as Goku looked expectantly as Hakkai walked in. The man blinked at the person sitting on one of the beds.

"Goku, what are you doing in here? Is everything alright?"

Goku sighed. "No, it isn't. I'm waiting for Sanzo. Do you know when he'll get back?"

"He went out for some cigarettes a while ago. He should be back any minute. Has he done something?"

Goku contemplated whether he should share the information with Hakkai but he figured that he would find out eventually. "Sanzo hit Gojyo this morning and Gojyo said that it for nothing. I wanted to ask him about it myself."

Hakkai smiled. "Ah, I see. Well, as I said, it shouldn't be too much longer now. This town isn't all that large." With that, he went about writing a stock list of things they would need for when they got back on the road.

Several minutes later, the door opened for a second time as Sanzo walked in, lit cigarette in hand and usual glare set upon his features.

"Sanzo," Goku said as he stood. "Can I talk to you?"

The monk grunted. "No."

"But Sanzo!"

"I said no, baka."

Hakkai smiled and made to leave the room. "I'll just be downstairs if you need me."

After the door closed, Goku turned back to Sanzo and glared at his back. "Sanzo…"

"No means no. Now get out."

"I just need to ask a question!"

"Fine. But if it's something stupid, I swear I'll beat your face in."

"Why did you hit Gojyo this morning?"

Sanzo paused. He knew he should probably keep quiet about the real reason plus the fact that Hakkai had practically bribed him to stay silent about it, he closed his eyes and took a long drag. "It's none of your business."

"What?!"

"I said it's none of your damn business."

"But I'm a member of this party, too!"

"That doesn't mean shit. I don't have to explain myself, especially not to you."

"But I want to know."

"Oh really?" Sanzo asked in a sarcastically cold voice. "And why is that?"

"Because I—" Goku gasped and blushed as he turned to the side. "Just because."

Sanzo glared and tightened his hold on the cigarette as it almost snapped in two. He wasn't sure why he had asked that question seeing as he didn't want to hear the true answer and was almost grateful the boy didn't have the courage to voice it. To his utter displeasure, he was a bit jealous of the damn taboo child. He knew Goku liked him as more than a riding companion and brother. And that awoke something inside of Sanzo that he had never liked about himself. He would never admit it but he knew that he felt something for the boy. He just couldn't decide if it was merely as a master or if it was more of a romantic thing. That alone was enough to sour his mood real quick.

Goku couldn't believe that he was just about to admit to Sanzo that he liked Gojyo. It was hard enough to have Hakkai know the truth of that specific emotion, but Sanzo? He didn't even want to think of the reaction the monk would give if he knew. He'd probably hit him with his fan dozens of times just to try to knock some sense into him. Just the thought of it sent his head pounding in pain. He turned to leave. "Fine. Never mind."

* * *

Hakkai was walking down the stairs. When he passed by the bar, he saw Gojyo sitting on a stool with a glum expression and a half empty cup in front of him in hand. Thinking he could try to work on him a bit more, Hakkai walked in and sat beside Gojyo. "Now who's drinking rather early?"

"Hey, I have every right to drink as early as I damn well feel."

"Hmm? What's gotten you angry?"

Gojyo sighed. "It's nothing. Don't worry about it."

Hakkai pondered to press him further when he saw a slight discoloration on the other man's face. "That's quite a shiner you've got there."

Gojyo growled. "That bastard monk. He's going to get it one day."

"That's right. Goku did say something about Sanzo hitting you this morning. What'd you do?"

He slammed his hand on the counter and turned to glare at Hakkai. "Why is it that that is the first thing people say when they find out about it?! I didn't do anything besides walk in at the wrong fucking time!"

Hakkai laughed. "Alright, I believe you."

"Geeze. And just why are you in such a happy mood?"

"Am I?"

Gojyo rolled his eyes. "Oh right. I forgot: you always act drunk off your ass with that goofy grin."

"You think my grin is goofy?" Hakkai asked in a mock offended manner. "How rude. See if I cook you any dinner from now on."

Gojyo sobered as he took another swig from his drink. "Hey, can I ask you something?"

"A little late for that, isn't it?"

"I'm serious."

Hakkai looked into Gojyo's eyes to see all joking aside. His smile went from playful to attentive as he nodded. "Of course."

Gojyo paused as he tried to think of the best way to word is question. "Is love really worth it?"

This took Hakkai by surprise. "Worth what?"

"The pain?"

The healer looked back down to the counter to contemplate how to answer that. His mind automatically wandered to his late wife and how much he had loved her. How she walked, how she talked, but most importantly, how she smiled. Her smile was like a breath of fresh air from all of the smog life could often bring. She smiled like she was truly very happy and with no regrets. That was one of the reasons Hakkai kept up his smile as much as he did. He did it in sheer memory of his only beloved. And with each smile he supported without her tore his heart that much more. However, as much pain as he felt thinking about her, he would never give up the time he had spent with her. They were precious to him and made him who he is.

Closing his eyes, Hakkai answered. "Without a doubt."

Gojyo peered to his friend from the corner of his eyes before switching back to his drink.

_Then why is it so hard?_

* * *

Goku had returned to his room, Hakuryu still keeping him company and very much enjoying the pack rub Goku was giving him. When he stopped, the dragon lifted his head to see the melancholy look in the boy's eyes. He squeaked trying to gain back the attention.

"Huh?" Goku looked down at the dragon and smiled. "Sorry. I was thinking."

Hakuryu slipped from the boy's hold and flew up to nuzzle his head in Goku's hair making him chuckle.

"I'm okay." He took Hakuryu in his hands and held him before his face with a sad smile. "I just don't know what I should do. I can't flat out tell him. Talk about embarrassing. Plus, he'd probably call me a stupid monkey and never speak to me again." He sighed and brought Hakuryu close in an embrace. "Maybe I just shouldn't do anything. There's no point if he really doesn't like me. If he did, wouldn't he have at least dropped some hints by now? I don't think I'd be able to handle his rejection. I should just give up hope."

Hakuryu squeaked loudly before biting Goku's collar and pulling. They boy looked down with a questioning glance as the dragon let go and squeaked even louder with an angry look.

"What?"

_S__ome people are afraid to take chances__…_

Goku heard Hakkai's words from earlier that day.

_…just because they don't know what will happen and are afraid that it won't work out in their own favor._

But the pain it would cause if he was rejected, Goku didn't even want to think about it. Just the thought was enough to rip his heart in two. "I don't think I can do it," he whispered.

_Don't be like those people, Goku. You disserve to be happy._

Happy? But if he was rejected, how could he ever be happy?

_Those people are cowards…_

Cowards. They are cowards.

"I'm…a coward?"

That couldn't be possible. He had faced far worse than this, hadn't he? He had single handedly defeated a God! A GOD! And he had played a key role in defeating a powerful God-wannabe not to mention all of the other demons that he had come up against, especially Kougaiji! And here he was cowering because he couldn't tell someone that he liked them. It was pathetic!

No more. He can do this. He can do this! He can tell Gojyo how he feels. If he's rejected, than that's that. He'll be heartbroken for a while but it will go away, right?

Right?

Then he thought back to how Hakkai is with that girl, Kanan; how he was still mourning her death and trying to get over his heartbreak. It had been three years by now and he was still hurting.

Goku put his hands in his hair and vigorously ruffled it up. "Oh! Why does this have to be so complicated?!" Sitting straight up, he had a determined look on his face. "That's it! No more moping around! I can do this! I _will_ do this!"

He had decided that tonight, somehow, someway, he was going to tell Gojyo how he felt. He may be scared shitless when he does it but it will be tonight or he will forever hold his peace!

Hakuryu flew in circles around the boy's head, screaming in happiness.


	6. Stay With Me

Here's the next chapter. I don't have much to say this time but I do have to say that I would greatly appreciate it if you could read my author's note at the bottom. Thanks in advance. **39.Falling.Grace: **thanks for the review. You're amazing!  
Well, here's chapter six!! Enjoy!!!

* * *

Gojyo sat in a chair in the lounge of the inn contemplating his next move. The day had dragged on slowly and it was just about time he should prepare to leave so as not to be in the same room as Goku, as usual. 

He had done a pretty good job of avoiding the boy. He hadn't so much as heard Goku all day save for his little happening that morning. Every time he even thought about it, his fists would clench at the tenderness Goku had used. It had felt so nice to be on such terms with the object of his affections but the fact of the impossibility of it reoccurring kept punching him hard in the gut. He wanted it again and again and again. But even if he got that, he knew he would always be craving more of something that he wasn't even worthy of.

He knew he really should have talked to the boy about what had happened to…"clear some things up," but he just couldn't find it in himself. He didn't want to hear Goku say that it had scared him or disgusted him. Or worse: that it didn't mean anything to him. That he hadn't felt anything at all. He wasn't sure which was worse.

Sighing, he tilted his head back and put his hand over his eyes as he stared through his fingers and the fan just above his head, the blade going in circles. He laughed at the irony.

"I might as well be going in circles at this rate."

Turning his attention to the window, he saw that the sun had long retired and the moon had made its nightly debut.

It was time.

This was the part he hated the most. He stood and was just about to make his way toward the door when he felt his breast pocket to find it oddly empty. Checking his pants pockets, he found nothing that was of use to him at the moment. Cursing under his breath, he tried to think of the last time he had used his cigarettes. He had had one that morning with Goku but then throughout the day, he had bummed some off of strangers at the bar and in the lounge just to keep from going upstairs. But then that meant…

"Shit."

* * *

Goku was pacing in his room. Hakuryu had left with Hakkai to get a bath leaving the heretic to contemplate his next move alone. He had come up with a plan…kind of…sort of…a little… 

Okay, so he hadn't come up with anything tactful in the last few hours he had been on the subject. That was the cause of his panicky pacing now.

"What do I do? What do I do? Do I just say it? 'Hey, Gojyo. What's up? Well, I just wanted to tell you that I really like you. What do you think?' No! I can't do that! God, this sucks. Okay. Just think…think……I said _think_, damn it! Ugh!"

He sighed heavily. "Maybe I should just give him a note or something. I was never meant for this whole inspiration thing." Taking a deep breath, he nodded his head. "Okay. I can do this. I'll just have to think of something on my way down."

With that decided, Goku walked to the door. However, just as he was about to grasp the handle, it turned and the door opened. Looking up, he saw beautiful crimson hair and eyes.

"G-Gojyo."

Gojyo had been hoping that Goku was anywhere but in this room. It was hard enough to leave but to see Goku's face just before he did…it made the night's upcoming actions all the more shameful.

"Hey, I just need my cigarettes." He pushed past Goku to the table he had set them down on.

Goku watched him walk over and swallowed hard. "Um, it's actually sort of funny that you came in just now," he said as he closed the door. "I was just about to go looking for you." _But I was hoping I could have a little more time before I saw you!_

Gojyo's movements were a little stiffer now. "Is that right?"

"Yeah. See, I wanted to…to tell you something. Something important."

Gojyo smiled bitterly but his hair was covering his face just enough that he was sure Goku couldn't see it. "Important?"

Goku nodded, his nervous smile a little shaky. "It's kind of about this morning."

Gojyo's face scrunched into a sneer. "What about it? I'm not apologizing."

Goku started at that. "I wasn't going to ask you to. I was just going to say that I—"

"You what?" Gojyo asked as he turned to face Goku. "You were disgusted? Scared? Repulsed? Say it!"

Goku didn't understand this verbal attack he was receiving. "Gojyo, what are you doing?"

The called man didn't mean to be so hurtful but he wanted out of the room which the object of his lust occupied. His pants were becoming rather tight just by the passionate look in Goku's eyes even if it was out of confusion and alarm…and possibly even hatred. It was those eyes that were always haunting him as he sated himself in another. It was those eyes that were always mocking his feelings over something he could never have.

Goku watched as Gojyo turned back to pocket his sacred box and stuff his hands in his jacket.

"Just forget it. Tell Hakkai not to wait up for me tonight, as usual."

Goku blinked. "You're leaving?"

"What of it?"

Goku's panic started up again. No, he couldn't leave; not now. Not now when he was so close.

"But you left last night. Don't you…want to stay here tonight?"

"You kidding? In this shit-hole? What for when there are plenty of fun things just beyond those doors?" he turned and was just about to walk into the hall.

Goku's mind was screaming at him to do something—anything!—to make him stay. He was watching as Gojyo was walking out of the room. But he had made a vow to tell him tonight. This was his last chance! And he was just watching it pass by right in front of him! Not knowing what the hell he was doing, but at the same time not caring, he screamed out and did the only thing he could think of.

"Gojyo!"

The taboo stopped just before the door and, against his better judgments, turned to his caller. As he did, he felt two hands grab onto the lapels of his jacket, pulling him down just slightly, and a pair of warm lips crash onto his.

Silence.

Stillness.

Perfection.

For that one second, that first few moments of the contact, all of time seemed to stop.

Every one of Gojyo's muscles were tense to the point of physical pain. His eyes were wide in complete shock as he looked at Goku's face. The boy's eyes were scrunched closed afraid that if he ever opened them, what he was doing would turn out to be a dream as it always did in the past.

After several seconds, Goku released Gojyo's lips and took his weight off from his toes as he slowly descended back down to his usual height. Finally taking the chance, he opened his eyes but did not dare to even look into Gojyo's for fear of what he would see there. Instead, he rested his brow on Gojyo's chest, his hands still gripping the jacket.

"Don't go," he whispered softly. "Please stay. Just stay in the room with me. Even if it's just for one night. Be here with me. You don't have to touch me. You don't have to look at me. Just be here with me. Please. That's all I ask."

Gojyo was still caught in his state of utter disbelief. Goku had just kissed him. He had asked him to stay. Pleaded him to stay. His breath was a bit uneven as his brain slowly started to return to its usual functioning order. As it did, the information of what had just happened dug deeper and deeper as he continued to wrap his mind around it.

Goku kissed him.

Goku. Kissed. Him.

At last, coming back to his senses, Gojyo looked down to the top of Goku's head and shaking body. Taking this moment for granted, he lifted his hands and placed them lightly on Goku's shoulders.

Goku held his breath as he readied himself for a harsh shove or a hard smack to his head. But in place of those violent acts, he felt one of Gojyo's hands slowly crawl up the side of his neck to cup his cheek, forcing his face to tilt back up. A bit stunned by this tender stroke, Goku took the risk and forced his eyes to meet Gojyo's. What he saw there was enough to make his knees buckle and his face to heat.

Lowering himself, ever so slowly, Gojyo whispered, softer still, against Goku's mouth, "How could I not touch you?"

With that, Gojyo smashed his mouth to Goku's quenching a desire long since craved for.

* * *

**A/N:** I know I'm totally ruining the mood here but I felt that this has to be said just because it is one of my morals. **The next chapter _will_ ****be a**** lemon!** Then again, one person's intense lemon is another's wimpy love scene so I'll let you decide which is which but I thought this needed to be said before I post the next chapter. I will try to mark where the lemon ends for those of you who want to know but I'm afraid of breaking the mood so you might just have to search for it. Sorry. And I know these chapters have been on the short side but I will try to make the next one of of good length. (It's going to be hard not to XD) Thank you for your time and I hope to see you next chapter! 


	7. Passionate Night

Okay. It's been a long while since I've written a lemon so I'm a little rusty but I did the best I cold under the circumstances (i.e. school, friends, my invisible friend Bob...don't ask). Anyway, I think I'll do one more chapter after this but I just need like a day to come up with somethng. I already have a pretty good idea. I just need to play around with it but I am open for ideas if anyone wants to put in a little somethng. And for those people who wanted to skip the lemon and get to the aftermath, you might as well just skip this whole chapter. Just a heads up ;-P Also, Gojyo and Goku are just a little, teeny-weeny bit out of character but I didn't really have a choice. I usually don't do this but I really wanted...well, I can't tell you but you'll see. Sorry if that makes anyone what to jump out a window. Please don't. I really don't want the people in black suits to come to my door again.  
Well, here's my update. I hope you enjoy and I'll see you next chapter.  
P.S.-Thanks **39.Falling.Grace** as usual for your awsomeness...and your review.

* * *

Goku's eyes widened as Gojyo's lips met his but it only took him a moment to return from his shock as he closed his eyes and snaked his arms around the other's neck. Gojyo wrapped his arms around Goku's body as his hands clasped onto the boy's shirt desperately, pulling him as close as was physically possible. 

_God__, please don't let this be a dream,_ Gojyo begged. _Cuz__' I __will__ come up and__ kick your ass!_

To test out the level of reality of his new situation, Gojyo took Goku's bottom lip between his teeth and needed the flesh gently.

Goku sensed the shivers that traveled up his spine as he produced a moan from Gojyo's new action. When Gojyo nibbled harder, Goku gasped giving the taboo the entrance he had been looking for. Without hesitation, he plunged his tongue in and immediately made contact with Goku's. However, the heretic was not one to give in to a battle so easily. He wanted to indulge in the fight for dominance initiating an erotic dance of sensuality at its best.

This was Gojyo's breaking point.

Goku felt his back collide with the wall just to his right as Gojyo pushed himself flush against his body once more. Gojyo's clear desire rubbed against his, the friction causing him to moan again. Goku forced his hands into the crimson hair trying to feel more of the other's mouth, if that was even viable.

Finally, Gojyo couldn't take the lack of oxygen any longer and pulled away from Goku's lips and worked his way down his neck.

Goku whimpered as the pressure in his stomach—and somewhere a little lower—started to build to a point that he was starting to feel uncomfortable. Attempting to find his voice, he said whatever words he could pronounce, preferably those under three syllables. "Gojyo…I…I can't…"

He wasn't able to finish, however, all potential thought leaving his mind as Gojyo discovered Goku's remarkable ear and started to suckle it gently. After several seconds, Gojyo released it and whispered in Goku's now reddening ear as he let his breath brush against it. "Can't what?"

"I…I…" Goku attempted again but this time he had been able to produce less than before. So, he settled for something a little more productive. He slipped his hands under Gojyo's jacket at his shoulders and slid it down his arms, letting it drop to the floor. Returning to the man before him, Goku pulled his face down so he could continue with the kissing thing that was very nice. His hands, though, refused to remain still as they tried to lift Gojyo's shirt.

Gojyo's brain, for some unknown reason, was working in overdrive as he thought some troubling thoughts. _Is he trying to initiate something because he thinks that's all I want? What if he doesn't want that yet? What if he's doing this for me alone?_

Pulling away once again from Goku's mouth, he tried to voice how he felt, as much as his loins begged him not to say anything. Although, Goku's persistent lips traveling around his face laying feather kisses all over and his hands still working their magic was quite distracting.

"Goku," he started. "I…I don't want you to…do this just for me. We can wait," he moaned, "if you want to."

Goku hadn't appeared to have heard a word he said as his actions kept up.

"I mean…I wouldn't want to make you…do something you didn't want to. There will be other times—"

He then heard Goku growl and his shirt rip right down the center. He looked into Goku's glaring, hazed over eyes as he said, "Shut up and help me get these damn clothes off."

Gojyo paused for a moment, but only a moment, blinking before his face erupted in his signature mischievous smirk. "Well alright, then." Removing what was left of his shirt, he wrapped his arms around Goku's waist and lifted him up, Goku bringing his legs around Gojyo's torso, and again locking lips.

Gojyo let Goku fall onto the mattress never losing contact with the boy's mouth. He slipped his hand under Goku's shirt and marveled at how the very well toned muscles there twitched at his stroke. He was now very grateful the boy had removed all of his complicated battle gear leaving him in his simple shirt and pants, however bothersome they were proving to be for the situation at hand.

Goku's hold on the other's hair tightened as he felt Gojyo's skin touch his in a way it never had before. It was invigorating and wonderful and he wanted more of it. "G-Gojyo," he tried to say but was muffled by said man's mouth. "Goj…the clothes……"

Gojyo smiled into the kiss as he thought of a good idea. He didn't want to have to part with his soon-to-be-lover so he ripped Goku's shirt down the middle.

Goku was startled and pulled away from Gojyo. "Hey! What'd you do that for?!"

"You ripped mine."

"But this one was my favorite."

Gojyo went down and nibbled at the skin along Goku's collarbone. "Payback's a bitch, ain't it?"

"Jerk. You're buying me a new one," he groaned out.

"Keep telling yourself that, saru."

"I'm not a—" He wasn't able to finish as his head leaned back into the pillow. Gojyo had taken one of his nipples into his mouth and started caring for it in the best way while his hand took on the other. Goku's mouth was open in a silent scream as he tried to deal with what he was feeling. Never had he ever felt this way in his whole life. Not about Sanzo, not about Homura. Never. Not once.

After a while Gojyo released his victim and smiled. _I'm going to have to remember that_.

He worked his way down Goku's body kissing, licking, suckling, and biting, at times causing angry red marks to form on the moist, caramel skin claiming Goku as his and almost daring anyone to even fucking touch him just so he could lay their asses out.

Goku was panting heavily and could feel his erection getting harder with every second it wasn't attended to. By this point, his pants were so tight, the pain was starting to overpower the amazing feeling he had been drowned in for the past several minutes.

Gojyo noticed immediately as the boy started to squirm and his hips started to shake from the discomfort. Knowing _exactly_ how Goku felt, he thought himself obliged to ease him of the said pain. Gojyo freed the button on Goku's jeans, his smile widening as he knew what was coming. This was something he had always dreamed of doing and he was ecstatic that the time had finally come. But that didn't mean he wasn't still going to have a little bit of fun at Goku's expense. "What's wrong?" Gojyo asked tauntingly as he slowly, so very slowly, stared to undo the zipper. "You seem…frustrated."

Goku brought his head up to look down at Gojyo. Seeing him in the position he was in and where his hand was stationed was enough to make him want to cry out as a tremor wracked his body. He held it in as he managed to reply back. "Wh…what are you going to do about it?"

Gojyo leaned down to nuzzle the still clothed area with his cheek, never breaking eye contact. "What would you like me to do about it?"

Goku groaned. "Gojyo please."

"I want to hear you say it."

Goku blushed. He wanted to hear him say it? He wasn't one to be shy but he did have a sense of propriety…even if it did seem non-existent at times. But he knew that he couldn't take much more of this so he swallowed the lump in his throat, faced the other, his cheeks redder than a lobster, and said, "Make love to me, Gojyo."

The taboo knew how hard it was for Goku to say something so risqué so decided to end his torture for the time being. Smiling softly, he unzipped Goku's jeans and slipped them off leaving him still aching for special attention. "It would be my pleasure." Gojyo returned to nibbling the flesh on Goku's neck as his thumbs hooked into his boxers and slowly brought them down as well revealing all of him. Gojyo sat up to drink in the sight. It seemed perfect to him, the one he had come to love lying before him ready for the taking.

Goku had a fleeting thought to cover himself but he held back the urge. The look in Gojyo's eyes were too precious. But when Gojyo went to kiss him, he felt the man's jeans on his skin.

"Wait." Gojyo lifted his head and looked into Goku's eyes questioningly. "W-w-what about…you?"

Gojyo raised is brow. "What about me?"

"You still have clothes on."

Gojyo looked down to his bottom half. "That I do." He looked back to Goku clandestinely. "Would you like to help me with that?"

Goku blinked not expecting that as an answer but nodded nonetheless. As if he would give up a chance like this! Moving his arms, Goku went to unbutton and unzip Gojyo's jeans, the red head groaning in Goku's ear as he did. Goku pulled off Gojyo's pants and undergarments in the same movement. Not able to turn down this opportune moment, he looked down and his eyes widened.

Gojyo saw the surprised expression and chuckled. "Like what you see?"

Goku tiled his head slightly looking back up to Gojyo. "Will it fit?"

Gojyo couldn't help but start laughing.

"What's so funny? Are you laughing at me?" Goku asked.

Once Gojyo contained himself he looked back down to Goku with a warm smile. "No," he said as he cupped Goku's cheek. "I just can't believe this is happening. It's a little hard to believe and I couldn't help but laugh at what you said. That's not what I normally hear."

Goku didn't know what to do with the tender confession so just returned the smile, his chest feeling lighter than it ever had.

Gojyo leaned down and kissed Goku's already swollen lips but this was much different. The other kisses had been demanding and hasty and desperate. This one was tender and slow and deeply affectionate. Goku felt it physically but also on a whole new level he never knew existed. It was almost as if his and Gojyo's souls were in it letting their feelings bleed into each other.

Gojyo let up from the kiss and sighed with content. Nestling his cheek with Goku's, he whispered, "I love you."

Goku felt the tears start to gather in the corner of his eyes as he heard Gojyo's declaration. "I love you, too."

Gojyo smiled and lifted his face to look at Goku. Seeing the tears mixed with the boy's look of deep care made something in Gojyo's stomach flop. Wanting to quench his hand Goku's desires more than ever now, a thought struck him.

He didn't have any lube.

Normally the women he found carried lube with them if they wanted to use it or he bought some while he was out. But he didn't usually have it handy in his bag, unfortunately. He made a mental note to start that little habit. For now, he was going to have to think up another solution. Gojyo didn't want to have to do this dry. Looking around for anything, he spotted some moisturizer on Goku's night stand.

If memory served, that particular moisturizer didn't absorb into the skin very well. He remembered a conversation with Goku about how awful it was but that Sanzo had bought it for him and he didn't want to hurt the monk's feelings by asking for a different kind. _Well, I guess it will have to do for now_. Reaching over, he squeezed a gob into his hand and rubbed it onto his fingers.

Goku watched him zealously wondering why he was using that horrible lotion. Then he saw his hand move in between his legs and felt fingers rub around his entrance. His teen started to grind his teeth as his erection grew harder and a sensation racked all through his body. Then a single limb penetrated him and he had to bite his lip from crying out for the whole inn to hear.

Gojyo saw Goku's expression and he knew he had to be inside Goku _now_ but the last thing he wanted was to hurt him in any way. So he was just going to have to be patient…as painful as that was proving to be. Over the next several minutes, Gojyo inserted two more fingers making Goku whimper and moan. Finally, after scissoring a few times, Gojyo removed his fingers and slowly started to separate Goku's thighs with his knee, lifting his right leg into the crook of his elbow, and positioned himself at Goku's opening. His expression becoming somber, he said, "This might hurt to start but I promise it will get better."

"Just do it," Goku begged as his hands gripped Gojyo's shoulders tightly.

Gojyo braced himself and entwined his free hand with Goku's as he started the incursion.

Goku screamed. Gojyo kissed Goku to muffle his—and his own—yell. They didn't need Hakkai or, heaven forbid, Sanzo to walk in wondering what was wrong.

Goku's eyes were closed tight against the pain as he bit down on Gojyo's lip to the point he thought he tasted blood. But Gojyo didn't complain. He grunted as he pushed himself in further little by little until he was fully sheathed in the boy's body. Gojyo was panting hard just from the energy it took to push past Goku's taut entrance. But it was a magnificent feeling. It was a feeling he had always experienced in his dreams but to feel it in the flesh…it was nothing like the fantasies his mind had created. This was so far superior. As he became engulfed in Goku and caught his breath slightly, he opened his eyes. But to his dismay, he saw tears trickling out of Goku's. Fearing the worst, he asked, "Is it too painful?"

Goku heard Gojyo's question but it took a moment for him to process what he had asked. "It hurts…but just……give me a minute…"

Gojyo nodded and started nibbling Goku's neck to help take some attention off of his aching backside. It helped a bit but after a few seconds, Goku felt comfortable enough and his erection was begging for movement. He ground his hips against Gojyo's as he got the message. Gojyo pulled back slowly and slid back in pausing for only an instant before pulling back out. Goku felt the pain again but it was gradually melting into a pleasure he had never known before tonight.

Gojyo's pace started to pick up. When he didn't hear any objections, he sped up again. Goku was groaning from the elation but that wasn't quite the reacting Gojyo was looking for. After a few more thrusts, he growled as he became frustrated and slightly altered his position before driving back in.

This time, Goku threw his head back and arched his back as he let out a scream that was so full of pleasure, Gojyo felt envious. But his jealousy didn't last long as Gojyo smirked and continued to strike that spot over and over, Goku raking his nails down Gojyo's back making red scratches; not enough to draw blood but enough to let anyone who saw his back know he was already claimed. And Gojyo didn't want it any other way. He was going to wear them proudly.

Goku's body tightened as it still wasn't getting the satisfaction it craved. Needing to appease those demands, he said in a voice he didn't even recognize himself it was so drenched in desire, "F-faster…please, Gojyo. Ah!"

Gojyo heard the request and tried to do as asked but he wasn't sure how much faster he could go. Deciding that perhaps if he went deeper he could accommodate his partner's pleas. Gojyo released Goku's hand and put his left leg in the same position as his right before reclaiming the said hand tightly.

At this new position, Goku's pants and yells came faster and louder as his G-spot was hit harder and more rapidly.

Gojyo couldn't hold back his own yells of pleasure no longer caring if the whole damn inn heard them loud and clear. All that mattered right here, right now was just him and Goku and this time they had together.

Gojyo felt himself coming close to the edge and he could tell Goku was a little further still. Knowing that there wasn't much more of a push the boy needed in order to reach that climactic peak, he took hold of Goku's throbbing erection and pumped against his own thrusts so he didn't have a moment of peace.

Goku screamed as his walls closed over Gojyo. Not able to take much of the new sensation, he came onto his and Gojyo's torsos moaning and screaming from the freed pressure.

Gojyo thrust a few more times before he cried out as he released into Goku's cavern and shivered as he heard the boy beneath him mewl in a final bit of pleasure. Spent and exhausted, Gojyo's arms gave out as he collapsed onto Goku's chest and as the boy's legs returned to their place on the bed and he warmly wrapped his arms around his lover. They both remained in that position as they slowly came back to themselves and their breathless wheezing resided to soft puffs of air.

Gojyo pulled out of the warm body—Goku gasping at the friction—and turned his head so he nuzzled Goku's neck and behind his ear. "My God. That was…it was……I've never…"

Goku smiled as he listened to the other's ramblings, his fingers raking through Gojyo's nest of hair. "You weren't so bad yourself. Then again, I have nothing to compare it to."

Gojyo's eyes widened. He pulled himself up onto his exhausted arms above the younger as he returned to his previous station. "What do you mean? Was this your first time…?"

Goku blushed through his timid smile as he shrugged.

Gojyo couldn't believe what had heard. He was Goku's first. First kiss, first intimate night, possibly even his first love. He had always thought that Goku had had _at least_ one intimate night with Sanzo with as close as they were and how protective they could be of each other. But to hear that Gojyo had claimed him in the full sense if the word, that thought made his heart swell three times larger. However, it also made him feel terrible that someone as tainted as himself was the one that had broken this innocent angel. He felt low and dirtier than he ever had.

Goku saw the emotions cross Gojyo's face and he started to worry. Had he done something he wasn't supposed to? Was he not good enough now that he knew this was only his first time?

"Um…Gojyo?"

The called man brought his attention back to his naked partner below him. He noticed now that he looked a bit worried and fearful.

Goku couldn't bring himself to look into Gojyo's beautiful blood red eyes. "Do you…regret this?"

What?! Why would he ever….Gojyo mentally slapped himself. He had paused, thinking for so long he had made Goku think he was second guessing their actions. "No, of course not. I could never regret this. It's just…"

"What is it?"

Gojyo turned his head as he fell back onto the bed snuggling his body closer to Goku's warmth. "It's nothing. Never mind."

But Goku could see in the creases of his brow that whatever this was, it really bothered Gojyo. Thinking about it for a moment, Goku got an idea of what had him so downcast. He remembered when Gojyo had come back from a night of womanizing feeling penitent. When asked by Hakkai, Goku over heard Gojyo answer that the woman he had been with was virgin. He couldn't explain it but for some reason, the idea of someone like him, a forbidden taboo child, "ruining" something pure put him off. He hadn't been in his normal state for the whole rest of the day. Perhaps he was feeling the same now.

Not being able to stand him thinking like that, Goku maneuvered his hands so they rested on either side of Gojyo's face. When Gojyo looked down, Goku pressed his lips to the other's. This kiss wasn't passionate or demanding. It was chaste and simple but still held much feeling behind it. When released, Gojyo stared down at Goku with a happy yet confused expression.

Goku smiled and said, "I could never regret this, either. I'm glad you were my first and if things go well, as I'd like them to, you'll be my last. You mean so much to me Gojyo. Don't doubt that or what we have. I don't and never will."

Gojyo couldn't believe the words that had just come out of Goku's mouth. How was it that every time he needed it, Goku always knew exactly what to say? Pulling him close, Gojyo embraced him tightly as his new and only lover and whispered softly, "Thank you."

Goku cuddled against Gojyo as they slowly drifted into a deep sleep.


	8. Morning After

Okay, guys. Sorry for the delay...the really long delay but, again, school swallowed me up and refused to spit me out. So I finally wrote some more and here you go. I hope you like this. And I wrote a little more than I had planned so I'm going to add another chapter to this. And thanks to **Naitachal666** for the review.

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Goku felt the sun filter in through the drawn curtains on his eyes. He groaned as he tried to turn away from the uninvited light and into a warmth he felt beside him. Through the unconscious want of being enveloped by that heat, he snuggled into whatever was supplying it and sighed contently.

A deep chuckle sounded above him as he felt the vibrations of it against his cheek. Goku opened his eyes to see a well toned chest and an arm wrap itself around his body. Looking up, he saw Gojyo smiling down at him, his head propped up on his elbow. "Morning, sunshine."

Goku blinked up at him before recalling the night before and smiled back. "Morning."

Gojyo used the arm he had snaked around Goku to pull him closer and place a kiss on his forehead. "How'd you sleep?"

"Fine. How long have you been up?"

"About an hour."

"An hour? Doing what?"

Gojyo smiled wider. "Watching you sleep."

Goku blushed and hid his face back into Gojyo's chest as he laughed at the younger's antics and rested his head in Goku's hair. He took that time to inhale Goku's earthy scent and was quickly reminded of how heightened that fragrance was during their activity only hours before. Just the memory was enough to make him want it again.

Goku felt something harden on his leg and grinned. "Even after last night, you're still ready for more?" He recalled after they had rested for a while, they had gone at it again. And again. And one more time just as a change of pace.

Gojyo rolled on top of Goku and smirked down to him. "I'm not called a stallion for nothing."

Goku brought his hands around Gojyo's neck and met his gaze. "Aren't I the lucky one?"

Gojyo leaned down. "That's my line." He closed the distance between them and pressed his lips to Goku's. The kiss started chaste until Gojyo bit Goku's bottom lip. The said boy moaned giving the taboo the chance he had been looking for to deepen the kiss. Gods how he had always dreamt of this and now he was living it; it all seemed so surreal. He was almost afraid that if he thought about it too much, he would wake up and find himself alone in a cold bed with vague memories of a wondrous reverie.

He didn't think he could handle that. A life without Goku, now that he had tasted such sinfully sweet nectar…he shivered at the very thought. Or perhaps it was the way Goku laced his fingers in Gojyo's hair pulling him closer and arched his back for more contact.

Gojyo smiled as he released his captor's lips and started in for his neck and chest.

Goku moaned in delight as he tried to rationalize with his new lover. "Gojyo…we can't start now."

"Why kiss not?"

Goku sighed as Gojyo nibbled on a tender area on his collar bone. "Because…you know how Sanzo gets. He likes to leave early and if we don't hurry—" He wasn't able to finish that sentence as he gasped out of pure pleasure from Gojyo's antics.

Gojyo smiled as he crawled back up to Goku's face. "Fine. But you owe me big time."

Goku smiled mischievously like he did only since the night before. "I promise. It'll be worth the wait."

Gojyo's body reacted immediately. "Just get out of the bed already or else you're never leaving it."

Goku chuckled as he rolled out from the sheets and started looking around for his jeans.

Gojyo watched him and smirked to himself. He looked so cute searching around and mumbling to himself. However, he looked even better as he bent over to pick up the said pants. So much better in fact, that Gojyo actually groaned as he pulled one of the pillows over his head and gripped it like a lifeline.

Goku looked back over with a curious expression as he pulled on his pants. "You okay?"

"Mmmffnn."

"What?"

Gojyo waved his hand in a gesture to make Goku resume what he was doing. He smiled and started to look for his shirt when there was a very loud knock on the door.

"Gojyo! Goku!"

Gojyo sat straight up in shock as Goku's expression turned anxious. It was Sanzo!

"Aren't you up yet, you lazy asses?!"

Gojyo signed for Goku to move away from the bed as he moved the pillow so it was in his lap hiding his…indecency. Goku nodded quickly as he dashed over to his side of the room just as Sanzo entered.

The monk walked in with his usual scowl on his face. His frown deepened as he saw Gojyo sitting in his bed and Goku standing next to his own seeming unusually restless about something.

"M-morning, Sanzo," Goku greeted as cheerfully as he could with his fake smile. _Damn it! Where the hell is my shirt?!_

Sanzo grunted. "If you were awake, why didn't you answer me, monkey?"

"I was…was…uhh…..you see…"

"You woke us up," Gojyo put in quickly.

Sanzo turned to Gojyo. "You actually stayed here last night? That's a surprise."

Gojyo laughed nervously as he rubbed the back of his head. "Well, you know, it was late at the time and I—"

He looked over to silently plea for assistance on this one when he saw Goku's body frozen and his eyes shadowed away from him. Gojyo stared at him in hurtful shame. He guessed that Goku's mood change came from the mentioning of his past womanizing.

Sanzo noted the sudden chill in the air and, as did everything else, it pissed him off. He turned to the side to see something of curious interest. He walked over and picked up a white cloth. "What the hell is this?"

Goku looked over to see his torn shirt in Sanzo's grasp and his head flew to the grown in a facefault. Standing back up, a deep blush on his cheeks and chuckled. "Uh, that's…I was really tired last. So tired that I didn't have the energy to take off my shirt normally so I uh, yeah. Hehe."

Sanzo's eyes started to twitch. "Oh, really?" He faced the rest of the room which had clothes sprawled everywhere. "And what's all this?"

"Umm…lazy?"

Sanzo threw the ruined piece of clothing to the side. "Hn. I'm not buying you any more clothes."

"What?" Goku said in surprise. "But…but I only have two others like it!"

"That's your own damn fault for not taking care of you clothes."

"But the others were damaged in fights! Those weren't my fault!"

"I don't give a shit. Now hurry up and get dressed. We're leaving."

"But Sanzo!" Goku whined as he tugged on the monk's robe and used his infamous puppy dog eyes.

Sanzo growled and tried to shake the 'growth' off. "You stupid monkey! Let go!"

"Buy me a new shirt!"

"NO!

"Please?!"

Gojyo barely paid any attention to the brawl as he turned to the side in thought about Goku's earlier reaction…….before kicking them both out so he could get dressed.

Hakkai was more than relieved as the ride to the next few towns were as they used to be: Gojyo getting on Goku's nerves (or vice versa), Goku quickly reacting (or Gojyo depending), and Sanzo's blood pressure rising as he listened to the quarrel eventually reaching his boiling point and turning around to either scold them, bead them, or both depending on his state before the commotion in the back seat was initiated.

His smile held strong and true. He knew that if one truly listened to the berating words and offensive tones, one could hear an underlining affection blooming between them.

"You jack-ass!"

If one listened _real_ hard.

"Pervert!"

"Stupid monkey!"

"Damn cockroach!"

Shorty!"

"Water sprite!"

"You little…!"

Gojyo paused for a single millisecond before he grasped Goku in a usual chokehold. It was back. The spark in Goku's eyes that Gojyo had so desperately missed. It was there, clear as day, and he couldn't be happier to see it again.

"Oh, look," Hakkai commented. "The next town. It seems we'll be there within the hour."

Goku and Gojyo froze, the former blinking owlishly. "Already?"

Hakkai nodded. "It seems the towns in this region are closer together than we're used to."


	9. Quelled Fears

Alright guys, I know you must be mad at me for taking so long but I'm posting two chapters now and I'm asking if you guys think I should write a sequal and if you do--and if you want--please submit some ideas. I'll try to think of something, too, but I want to hear from you guys!! Thanks!

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Several hours later, the group had reached the said town, eaten, and played a few rounds of mahjong before they all retired to their rooms.

Now, Gojyo was lying in his bed, his arms behind his head as he gazed up at the ceiling. He had been in this position for going on forty-five minutes now and his arms were starting to fall asleep, not to mention the cigarette he had in his mouth was about to start burning into the filter. But none of that registered to him as his mind was centered on one thing:

How the hell he was going to sneak into Goku's room.

For you see, the last few nights, Sanzo had only been able to get one or two rooms and when he had gotten two rooms, Gojyo and Goku had agitated the monk so much that he announced that he didn't want to room with either of them, thus 'forcing' them to be roommates. However, this night, there had apparently been plenty of space and Sanzo had granted them all their own rooms…much to Gojyo's dismay.

He sighed as he finally plucked the cigarette—if one could even all it that, now—from his mouth and flung it toward the trash.

"Well, it's now or never, I guess. The others are probably asleep by now."

Heaving himself off the mattress, he looked down to his body and noticed his clothing. He was wearing his usual loose-fitting shirt with light blue boxers. The idea of putting on more respectable clothes crossed his mind it left just as fast as it had come. _What'__s the point since it'__s all going to come off anyway?_ he thought as he smiled mischievously.

He opened his door and quickly peered up and down the hall. No one to be seen.

Perfect.

He stepped out and silently closed the door behind him. He tiptoed down the corridor as quietly as he possibly could, especially as he passed by Sanzo's door. Finally, after what seemed much too long of a trek, he reached Goku's room. He thought about knocking but decided against it seeing as it would cause unnecessary noise. He twisted the handle and let himself in, thanking whomever owned the inn for having well oiled hinges.

Goku sat on his bed, his back facing the entrance as he looked at the window. The moon was unusually bright and it was mesmerizing. But even though he was staring straight at it, it didn't take any effect on him as his mind was already preoccupied with other, more problematical, thoughts.

His mind was squarely on Gojyo but his usual smile didn't spread over his face; in its place was a worried frown. He was worried that Gojyo would drift from him and go out in search of female company.

His hands clenched as he closed his eyes. He knew he shouldn't be thinking that way—he trusted Gojyo—but with the taboo's past brazen behavior, he couldn't quell that fear that swelled in his chest. And this wasn't the first time this fear had seized him. It happened every night since…since _that_ night. Even when they shared rooms, Goku kept expecting Gojyo to announce his exit for the night. Just the thought of those words coming from his lover's lips was enough to be his ultimate undoing.

He lowered his head and asked the gods for assistance, hoping that at least one of them would listen.

"Penny for your thoughts?"

Goku's eyes shot open as he looked up to see the one and only Gojyo right in front of him.

"Gojyo," he whispered in shock. "I…I didn't hear you come in."

Gojyo walked over and took a seat next to Goku looking down at him with a sincere expression. "What's got you down and out?"

"Huh?"

"You look so depressed. Is there something bothering you?"

Goku looked back down to the floor. "Oh, no. I'm okay. Just thinking about random things."

Gojyo knew it was much more than that but he was willing to let it go for the time being. Instead, he smiled and leaned in to start kissing Goku's neck.

The boy wasn't expecting this as he gasped in pleasure and shifted his head to give the other more access, moaning as Gojyo bit a sensitive area.

Gojyo smiled. God how he loved those noises Goku made, especially when they were in the middle of making love…

His member twitched and started to harden at the thought of those sounds. Not able to stay in the position he was in, he took Goku's shoulders in his hands and pushed him down into the mattress, his victim emitting a shocked scream. As Gojyo placed himself over Goku's body, he peered into his surprised face. "I need you now."

Goku continued to stare at him, his eyes wide, for only a few moments before his face erupted in a relieved sigh. He wrapped his arms around Gojyo's neck and smiled back with the same sensual fervor. "Well, then, we'll just have to do something about that, won't we?"

Gojyo didn't miss Goku's relieved look; not tonight and not in the few previous nights. He wasn't quite sure what it was that he seemed so reprieved about but he was going to have to think about it later. Right now, he had much better things on his mind.

Hakkai sat in his bed, petting a sleeping Hakuryu. He was thinking about Goku and Gojyo as a smile came to his face. How happy Goku looked for the past several days. It was wonderful to have his cheerful demeanor back. It made the horribly boring road trip to the black void of nowhere a little more jovial. And Gojyo wasn't as irritated as he always seemed to be. It was nice to have everything balanced as it should be.

Hakkai chuckled. "I wonder what Sanzo thinks of these new circumstances."

Sanzo sat on his window sill glaring out into the darkness. He had very well noticed the changes in attitudes of two of his riding companions. And frankly it pissed him off. Just thinking of what Goku was doing with Gojyo or worse….what the latter was fucking _doing to_ the former. His eye twitched in irritation as several unwanted images flowed through his head.

"Damn idiots."

He then made a mental note to himself to make damn sure Goku was never roommates with that pervert even if that meant Sanzo himself had to room with the monkey.

However, he couldn't shake the feeling that even if he managed that, they would somehow find ways to be together. His eye twitched again.

"Shit."

Gojyo flopped down onto the bed spent and sweaty and breathless. After a few moments of catching his breath, he opened his eyes to see Goku smiling and more winded than Gojyo.

God, he couldn't get over how sexy Goku looked all hot and moist, panting like that. He started to harden again and he almost groaned. _Gojyo!_ Of all people! But he couldn't help it. Goku had more energy than a…well, he couldn't quite think of something that had even half the energy Goku had.

How many times had they done it? Three? No, four. Was that right? Whatever. He'd figure it out later.

Goku rolled over to Gojyo's body and snuggled up into him. Gojyo smiled and wrapped his arm around Goku and buried his face in the other's hair. Goku sighed contentedly.

Suddenly, a thought came to Gojyo that he had forgotten about.

"Goku?"

"Hmm?"

"I was wondering something?"

"What?"

"Earlier, when I came into the room, you had a surprised look on your face. Then, later, you seemed almost relieved about something. And it wasn't just tonight. I've noticed it for the past several nights. What's going on? Is something bothering you?"

Goku was silent for a while, unmoving, before he finally answered. "I was scared."

"Of what?"

"Of you…leaving."

"Leaving for where? What are you talking about?"

"You know, like you used to. For some reason, I always think you're going to go out and be with someone else than be with me."

"What? Goku, what put that in your head? Did someone say that? I swear to god I'll beat their fucking asses!"

"No, I just…" He paused collecting his thoughts, trying to put his words correctly. "You used to go out every night. I mean, you had done it for so long, what was going to keep you from reverting back to that if you got tired of me? But then when I saw you, I knew that you were going to be with me tonight. So, I was relieved."

"Goku…" Gojyo couldn't believe Goku had been going through that apprehensive pain for all those nights. He tilted Goku's head back and looked into his eyes with ferocity. "Listen to me. I could never get tired of you. I love you. Besides, I couldn't be with anyone else even if I wanted to; which I don't. It would never mean the same as it does when I'm with you. Those women before, they didn't mean anything to me. I was only with them because I couldn't be with you. That's all. If I could, I would trade all of those times in for time with you in a heartbeat." He leaned down and kissed Goku's lips with as much tenderness and care as he could muster, making sure Goku's head spun with ecstasy. When he broke away, he looked back at Goku's now hazy eyes and smiled. "Don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise. Got it?"

"Uh-huh…" Goku answered dreamily.

Gojyo laughed before gathering the smaller in his arms and pulling him against his body in a tight embrace. He knew he should probably clean up and leave for his own room but this felt way too good for that.

_...Sanzo is going to kill me._


	10. Thank You's

Another story over and done. Sad though it is, there is an ultimate end to everything. Oh well. It was a pretty good run. Again, I am asking, does anyone see a sequel coming from this? I think I do. If you feel the same and you have a creative mind, please please please send in ideas via reviews or e-mail. I would love to hear what you guys would like to see happen. I am very open to see what you enjoy. I mean, you people out there are the reason I write. If it wasn't for you readers, this story wouldn't have been as good as it was. Which leads me to the 'Thank yous'.

I would like to thank every reader that took time out to read this story and kept up with it. It shows you liked it and my writing and I thank you.

I would like to put out a warm thank you to **Eyes of Shinigami**, **Jao Ensatsu Kokuryuha**, **Narutoluvr1**, and **badkittyitachi**. Thank you all for putting me on your alerts list and making sure to keep up.

I would like to give a sincere thank you to **Inuzuka Jivu** and **Yaeka** for putting me down as one of their favorite stories. Thank you.

I would like to deeply thank the anonymous signers **Es** and **ns** for reviewing. It really means a lot and thank you.

Now for a very, very special thank you to two people: **Naitachal666** and **39.Falling.Grace.** Naitachal666 put my story on her alerts list and reviewed. Thank you so much. 39.Falling.Grace. put my story on her alerts list as well as one of her favorites and reviewed most of my chapters. Thank you so very much.

Thanks to all of you, and to those who will read later on, and hope to see all of you later! All my love!!!


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